LR10 – Take care with spelling – ‘advantages’, ‘disadvantages’ – and you need ‘outweigh’ rather than ‘over-weigh’. To conclude (CC7) / (TR7) with the arguments given above, I firmly believe that (TR8) the advantages of youthful population over-weigh the disadvantages (LR10). Here you can find IELTS Essay samples of Band 8, written by students and graded by an IELTS teacher. This could be because they are more proactive in organize those activities and also more likely to participate in them. Older population may be more educated than the young one, this is being why (LR2) they have had more time to study a professional career during their lifes (LR3). Hold the mouse over underlined words in blue and suggested corrections appear in the window. TR4 – Good to include an example to support your idea. Are you going to take IELTS soon? Here is the task 2 essay with corrections, suggestions, feedback and an estimated band score: Your email address will not be published. Ben and his team of teachers provide students with expert advice, twice a week to cover the writing, reading, listening and speaking sections of the IELTS exam. This could be because they are more proactive in organize those activities and also more likely to participate in them. Perhaps ‘specialist physicians require at least… and young adults have not yet had time to accumulate this knowledge..’? Lastly, younger populations are likely to have higher rate of crime, this could be because young people have more energy to commit crime than old people. TR5 – Again, good to use examples to support your comments. Young people have more time and more energy than CC7 – An appropriate way to begin your final paragraph. With old people there would be no time to start a sport career. On one hand (CC2) / (TR3) having more younger people could lead to a lack of professionals in the society. I think it is the very lengthy one, because it has minimum words essay. Every essay is checked, marked, has comments and suggestions. Privacy Policy. LR7 – This sounds a bit odd. Even this fact could have both advantages and disadvantages, In my opinion the positive implications of having a youthful population over-weigh the negative ones. Subscribe to our podcast here. For instance, it is a fact that old societies spend a lot of money in health for their old citizens (LR8). People after their 50’s (LR4) may have been through a lot in life (LR5) and they may be more prepared to solve any day-life problem than younger people. Wow. In this tutorial we have a Band 7 essay graded by an EX-IELTS examiner (from our team of essay correctors!). they have had more time to study a professional career during their lifes (LR3). LR6 – Take care here. UK Office: Lastly, younger populations are likely to have higher rate of crime, this could be because young people have more energy to commit crime than old people. This could help to form a less stressful society. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages (LR1). TR6 – Appropriate organisation / use of paragraphs. And last but not least, young societies are more likely to have outdoor activities for the community. TR3 – Good organisation / use of paragraphing. GR4 – Accurate use of a relative clause. You can download or listen to the audio version here: |Direct Download Here | Stitcher | iTunes | Spotify | Soundcloud | Transcript |. advantages of youthful population over-weigh the disadvantages (LR10). It is well known that some countries have a population with more young people than old people. This may be because they have less old age-associated illness leading them to work more and maintain them-self more active. The topic of social media is common and this IELTS essay question was reported in the IELTS test. Hi Fey! For instance, it is a fact that old societies spend a lot of money in health for their old citizens. Check the model essay and then read the comments. GR6 – … most of the players / most players retire…. CC3 – Appropriate language to introduce an example. TR2 – Good to state your opinion clearly. Even though, there are some positive aspects of having an older population that we should consider. LR8 – This could be more natural. Thanks, Anya! The topic of each essay appears when you hold the mouse over the link. TR1 – Good to begin by paraphrasing the question. TR8 – Good to state your position clearly. On the other hand, youthful populations are in general more active and more happy. Perhaps ‘on health care for their senior citizens’? Another positive aspect of having young adult populations is that there are more chances of having outstanding sport professionals. IELTS writing essay task 2 Sample Band 8 The writing part of your IELTS exam is a great place to score some extra points, especially if you are looking to score within band 8. HK Office: TR5 – Again, good to use examples to support your comments. Adding to the fact that healthy people can work more efficiently, with this they can contribute to the economy of the country, making money instead of spending (GR4). On one hand, having more younger people could lead to a lack of professionals in the society. First you can read the essay, and after we break down which sentences helped this essay score a Band 7. GR6 – … most of the players / most players retire… TR6 – Appropriate organisation / use of paragraphs. TR2 – Good to state your opinion clearly. LR5 – Perhaps a bit on the informal side, but lovely natural use of language. BW ENGLISH SERVICES HK Ltd, Unit 2512, 25/F, Langham Place Office Tower, 8 Argyle Street, Mongkok, Hong Kong my opinion the positive implications of having a youthful population overweigh the negative ones (TR2). Adding to the fact that healthy people can work more efficiently, with this they can contribute to the economy of the country, making money instead of spending. CC7 – An appropriate way to begin your final paragraph. Copyright - 2014 - 2020 BW English Services Ltd.
IELTS Writing task 2 Student Essay Band 7 with Corrections and … GR3 – Some problems with sentence structure here. A study from the University of Chile (TR5) showed that in the south of Chile, where the population is mostly young (GR4), the rate of robs (LR6) and crimes where twice higher than in the north where most of the population where in their 50’s and older. LR1 – A bit repetitive. At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. GR3 – Some problems with sentence structure here. I have corrected hundreds of task 1 and 2 essays on various topics, giving estimated band scores and detailed feedback. You’re most welcome, DR! Band 8.0 Sample Essay for IELTS Writing Task 2 Topic from Cambridge IELTS 7 Open Thơ Anh Hoàng answered 3 years ago • Sample Essays 1620 views 1 answers 0 votes Perhaps ‘stay / keep (more) active’. Company addresses: Here you can find IELTS Essay samples of Band 7, written by students and graded by IELTS teacher. CC5 – Smooth use of referencing to link to the previous sentence. to become a specialist physician it is needed at least 10 years of university studies and this may not be able for a young adult yet (GR3). With old people there would be no time to start a sport career. LR9 – Natural use of vocabulary. TR7 – Good organisation. CC1 – Check the meaning / use of ‘even’. LR6 – Take care here. Even though, there are some positive aspects of having an older population GR4 – spending it This is just one of the many valuable ways we help students like you pass the exam and move ahead! Why? CC5 – Smooth use of referencing to link to the previous sentence. CC6 – Perhaps a little informal, but very natural use of language. Each criteria has been considered and the sentence in the essay has been colour coded to correspond to the fours marking criteria used by the British Council / IELTS IDP. This may be because (CC5) they have less old age-associated illness leading them to work more and maintain them-self more active (LR7). +44 20 3951 8271 ($1/min). TR1 – Good to begin by paraphrasing the question. ‘Rob’ is a verb – and the noun is ‘robbery’. In addition, younger population have less life experience than old population. LR4 – Perhaps ‘who are over fifty’. LR5 – Perhaps a bit on the informal side, but lovely natural use of language. Take a look at this student essay example and see how it compares to your own writing. Required fields are marked *. GR1 – Check your use of punctuation. In soccer most of the players retires (GR5) from their soccer-career when they turn thirty years old (LR9). LR10 – Take care with spelling – ‘advantages’, ‘disadvantages’ – and you need ‘outweigh’ rather than ‘over-weigh’. Perhaps ‘stay / keep (more) active’. First you can read the essay, and after we break down which sentences helped this essay score a Band 7. In addition, younger population have less life experience than old population. Another positive aspect of having young adult populations is that there are more chances of having outstanding sport professionals. The topic of essay appears when you hold mouse over the link. Your email address will not be published. Here is a band 7 … The first one scored in Band 7: Every essay is checked, marked, has comments and suggestions. Try to vary your use of vocabulary if you can. People after their 50’s (LR4) may have been through a lot in life (LR5), A study from the University of Chile (TR5), in the south of Chile, where the population is mostly young (GR4). Older population may be more educated than the young one, this is being why they have had more time to study a professional career during their lives. CC6 – Perhaps a little informal, but very natural use of language. In this post, you will be able to view an essay example from a past student, with the corrections and feedback highlighted in red. People after their 50’s may have been through a lot in life and they may be more prepared to solve any day-life problem than younger people. Take a look at some IELTS Writing task 2 questions to help your prepare for your IELTS task 2. LR1 – A bit repetitive. Young people have more time and more energy than old people to practice and become an excellent sport professional. I’m planning to take IELTS test soon, but I’m not sure with my writing. “Climate change has become one of the most pressing issues that face humanity. Perhaps ‘specialist physicians require at least… and young adults have not yet had time to accumulate this knowledge..’? There are also suggestions on how to improve for a higher band score. CC2 – An appropriate phrase to introduce your first ‘body paragraph’. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? It is well known that some countries have a population with more young people than old people (TR1). This could help to form a less stressful society. A study from the University of Chile showed that in the south of Chile, where the population is mostly young, the rate of robs and crimes where twice higher than in the north where most of the population where in their 50’s and older. LR3 – life (singular), lives (plural) For example (CC3) / (TR4), to become a specialist physician it is needed at least 10 years of university studies and this may not be able for a young adult yet (GR3). On the online course we have a guarantee: JUMP TO BAND 7 OR IT’S FREE. TR8 – Good to state your position clearly. CC3 – Appropriate language to introduce an example. CC4 – A suitable phrase to begin the second ‘body paragraph’. You can have your essay(s) checked and corrected by an Ex-IELTS Examiner. It is well known that some countries have a population with more young people than old people (TR1). Try to vary your use of vocabulary if you can. LR7 – This sounds a bit odd. that we should consider. To conclude with the arguments given above, I firmly believe that the advantages of youthful population over-weigh the disadvantages. For example, to become a specialist physician it is needed at least 10 years of university studies and this may not be able for a young adult yet. What are the causes of climate change and what effects are expected to arise if it remains unchecked?”. Let us know if you need further help in the IELTS Writing Task 2 part. old people to practice and become an excellent sport professional. Today, TV channels provide man’s sport show more than women’s sport show. A Band 7 essay shows a sufficient scope of language with occasional redundancy, errors in word selection or minor grammatical mistakes. In soccer most of the players retires from their soccer-career when they turn thirty years old. Old people may be too tired to go out. http://traffic.libsyn.com/ieltspodcast/Band_7_IELTS_Task_2_Essay_Review.mp3, https://www.ieltspodcast.com/essay-correction-service/, What sentence structures and language is needed for a Band 7 in the. And last but not least (CC6), young societies are more likely to have outdoor activities for the community. Teacher's summary is at In this tutorial we have a Band 7 essay graded by an EX-IELTS examiner (from our team of essay correctors!).. Every day we see students improving, and regularly getting ideas for Task 2 after completing this task. Vocabulary for IELTS Vocabulary is probably the most important part of preparing successfully for IELTS. Hold the mouse over underlined words in blue to see suggested corrections. As the founder of IELTSPodcast, Ben started his journey as an English educator in 2006. LR2 – because Here is a task 2 writing sample to help you do just that.. CC2 – An appropriate phrase to introduce your first ‘body paragraph’. TR3 – Good organisation / use of paragraphing. BW ENGLISH SERVICES, 120 High Road, East Finchley, N29ED, London, England, United Kingdom ‘Rob’ is a verb – and the noun is ‘robbery’. IELTS WRITING TASK 1 ACADEMIC – STUDENT ESSAY EXAMPLES, IELTS Practice Test: Lumbini, the Birthplace of the Lord Buddha. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages (LR1) giving examples to support both points of view. Old people may be too tired to go out. Perhaps ‘on health care for their senior citizens’? Even (CC1) this fact could have both advantages and disadvantages, In (GR1) my opinion the positive implications of having a youthful population overweigh the negative ones (TR2). TR4 – Good to include an example to support your idea. This is great! We help students improve their band score by giving expert feedback. After watching the tutorials you send your answers to us for feedback. The IELTS writing task 2 sample answer below has examiner comments and is band score 9. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages giving examples to support both points of view. LR8 – This could be more natural. Should TV channel give equal time for women’s sport and men’s sport? Most of the students studying for the IELTS Test have said they find the IELTS Writing Tasks difficult. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. On the other hand (CC4) / (TR6), youthful populations are in general more active and more happy. CC4 – A suitable phrase to begin the second ‘body paragraph’. Click here to learn more: https://www.ieltspodcast.com/essay-correction-service/. Let’s take a look at two examples of the first paragraph of essays that respond to the same question of Task 2 of the Academic Writing component of the IELTS exam. 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Perhaps ‘ stay / keep ( more ) active ’ to take IELTS test during ielts writing task 2 sample essays band 7 lifes LR3... Lr4 – perhaps a little informal, but very natural use of ‘ ’! More energy than old people may be too tired to go out plural ) CC3 – appropriate language to an! Perhaps ‘ specialist physicians require at least… and young adults have not yet had to. English Services Ltd. Privacy Policy Band score it is the very lengthy one, because it has minimum words.... And language is needed for a higher Band score 9 for task 2 part should TV give! Http: //traffic.libsyn.com/ieltspodcast/Band_7_IELTS_Task_2_Essay_Review.mp3, https: //www.ieltspodcast.com/essay-correction-service/, what sentence structures and language is needed for a Band. To begin by paraphrasing the question ) / ( TR6 ), young societies more! Practice and become an excellent sport professional yet had time to accumulate knowledge! 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Cc4 – a suitable phrase to begin by paraphrasing the question every essay checked! Had time to accumulate this knowledge.. ’ of the players / players... We see students improving, and after we break down which sentences this. Cc4 – a suitable phrase to begin the second ‘ body paragraph ’ in this tutorial we have population., and after we break down which sentences helped this essay will discuss the advantages and giving... Physicians require at least… and young adults have not yet had time to accumulate this..... English Services Ltd. Privacy ielts writing task 2 sample essays band 7 experience than old people to practice and become an sport! Hand ( cc4 ) / ( TR3 ) having more younger people could lead a! Underlined words in blue and suggested corrections has comments and suggestions essay and then the. 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Last but not least, young societies are more likely to have outdoor activities for the next time comment! Example and see how it compares to your own ielts writing task 2 sample essays band 7 Ltd. Privacy Policy mistakes... It LR8 – this could help to form a less stressful society ‘. In this browser for the next time i comment to introduce your first ‘ body paragraph ’ activities.
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